i'm bff with mk&a

last night, the olsens had a signing of their book, influence, at the borders in westwood.  since i've pretty much been participating in a parasocial relationship with them since the days of full house, i figured i might as well go.  

security was insaaaane, as you may or may not be able to tell from these pictures (courtesy of my friend meredith):

dealing with the security and the crazy long line was totes worth it, though, because the girls SIGNED MY BOOK, and i will forever know that ashley's signature looks like a sideways bird head.
the first question people have been asking me when they hear i was ONE FOOT AWAY from the olsens is whether they're really tiny in person.  i couldn't really tell because they were sitting and i was standing, but the one thing that struck me was how flawless their skin looked. 

perez disagrees, but whatevs.  i was there.

obsessed.

well, it's no secret that i LOVE the olsen twins, so when the fug girls showed this picture of gwenyth paltrow's mk-esque getup, 

accompanied by this caption:

So, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the first step in Gwynnie's attempt to take over Mary-Kate Olsen's identity, right?
First, the long, goth-y, furry get-ups. Next, the center-parted blond hair. And finally, of course, the sort of sourly pursed lips. Expect soon to see her adopt the following, in no particular order: a Starbucks cup perm-attached to her right hand; a giant purse made of some kind of rare, fuzzy animal; a disregard for pants; a renewed affection for items with holes in them; a very similar -- but more cheerful-looking -- personal hanging around with her on occasion; and, finally, a DeLorean so that she can travel to the past, make a series of movies in which she plays twins who get into hilarious scrapes while on vacation with clueless but loving parents, and emerge a bazillionaire. It's not the worst plan I've ever heard.

... i felt like my two favorite things in life had finally merged as one.  oh internet, how i love you.

yawn.

okay okay. so the whole olsen vs. pratt thing is soooo over. i know.  

in case you've been living UNDER A ROCK (or, you know, have better things to do with your time), a recap:

mary kate olsen went on the letterman show to promote her new film, "the wackness" (review coming soon!), and while she was there, said that spencer pratt had a bad temper in their high school soccer games.

pratt, in true reality-star form, retaliated by telling usmagazine.com that he doesn't "get why she'd use my name to get press", and generally belittled her (no pun intended).

apparently the whole feud started a few years ago, when pratt sold a picture of an underage, tipsy-looking mary-kate at a party.  defamer dug deeper into the issue, and found a quote from a year-old  details profile on pratt: "the guy...will proudly tell you he made $50,000 in high school by selling a photo he took of Mary-Kate Olsen drinking at a party".

SO HERE'S WHAT I DON'T GET: why has no one commented on the fact that while he's hating on mk for using his name to get press, he used her to make $50,000.  and on top of the money, he took advantage of the situation to solidify himself as an "entrepreneur".  so really, without the olsen teat for him to suckle on, spencer would be far less "successful".  i picture this information hitting him like the bucket of water hit the wicked witch of the west... but we'll leave that comparison for another day.