oh dear

There is nothing Ali Lohan is good at. She can't sing, she can't act, and she looks like a troll (perfect for her upcoming movie). She will forever be in the shadow of her sister Lindsay, who, though totally fucked up, actually has a smidgeon of talent! Not that you would know that from Georgia Rule or I Know Who Killed Me, but still.
This cover is RIDICULOUS. There's no possible way she's "America's new sweetheart," and does it bug anyone else that her hair is tucked into her necklaces?

maybe i can use this in writing 340...

well, this was posted on my other blog a few weeks ago, and i feel like it's an appropriate addition to this blog as well, so enjoy:

thesis: e! loves momagers. who love the tabloids.
A. kris kardashian
i. the episode with kim's rumored sex tape #2. when she called the police.
ii. kris signed the girls up to do a "girls gone wild" swimsuit shoot in mexico... if that isn't tabloid bait, i don't know what is.
ii. the episode when kim threatened to fire her mom for being a bad momager. and kris kried. i mean really, it was a krisis.
B. dina lohan
i. episode 1: "every morning i wake up, i get the paper, and i read the tabloids to see what they're saying about my daughter, LINDSAY LOHAN."
ii. episode 2: when dina almost had to fire ali's producer/their family friend/someone just as skeezy and famehungry as them, because he said something that "could have been interpreted" as negative to the tabloids.
iii. episode 3: when dina gave ali a "tabloids 101" lesson.
conclusion: a great drinking game would be to take a shot every time kim throws a hissy fit at her mom, or dina says the word "tabloid". ages 17-117. do not operate heavy machinery after playing this game.

i am loving abc.

perez announced that mk olsen will be guest starring on that abc show, "samantha who?".  i'm loving this trend... first weeds, and now this. 

and we can't forget about lilo's "ugly betty" appearance.  

LOVE. IT. ALL.

who doesn't want to hear about the Lohans?

I always like hearing about the Lohans. They're pretty entertaining. Ali and Lindsay are both so ridiculous I just can't stop watching them! Living Lohan is incredibly painful to watch (and to listen to, with Ali's voice), but I just can't stop.

I also feel obligated to watch anything either of them are/ever will be in. I don't know why. I thought I Know Who Killed Me was the worst movie I had ever seen, until I saw Georgia Rule.

So I guess now I'm going to have to see this Labor Pains movie. And Trolls, too. But I have a sneaking suspicion they'll be really painful. REALLY.